A few days ago I saw a movie in which a man hit (beat) his wife in front of their 4 or 5 year old daughter, and she died as a result. A few days later, after being beaten, and crying bitterly, the little girl walks up to her dad and asks “daddy why do you hate me so much? You beat mummy and she died, now you are beating me too…even when I’m hungry, you still beat me”…
That reminds me of another movie I saw, probably a few years ago. There, a man who had the habit of hitting his wife, was beating her again, when he was hit on the head with a ceramic object, by their 7 year old boy who had simply had enough of daddy hurting mummy…The man died.
So, what’s to be done? Stand aloof and watch helplessly as dad hits mum (as in the little girl’s case) or attempt to defend mum, even if dad gets hurt or dies in the process (as in the boy’s case)?
Ok, forget about kids for a second…they’re only kids aren’t they?
As an ADULT, what would you do if your dad hit your mum…consistently…?
I doubt if any “adult child” will stand for his mum being hit oh!!!
As children they(or rather we) are mostly helpless so hey!!!
hit the heck outta him too.
we had this nebors wen i was a kid..wen the father did that all the children, who were still kids ran around the house throwing objects at the man…..
to answer you question…even tho its really hard for me to imagine…i’ll start with prayer and probably get her to move from the house they share…
You can only plead with him to stop, you trying to fight him wouldn’t help ur mum. As a kid, my father used to beat my mum every week, that didn’t mean he didn’t love her but he was sick and he had a funny way of showing his love. we later got to find out after we grow up that people like that have a mental problem, which over time (if by then he asn’t killed his wife) it would stop. Also those type of people need daily prayers…..Thank God today my parent are happy married.
Carry my mother and leave the house oh!
never had the opportunity to witness that…. guess it would depend on how much strength (financial or otherwise) to pull her out of the situation…
Hmmm, what would you do if your best friend (girl) tells you her husband hits her?
That is a weighty question! If, as an adult, my father hit my mother, I would encourage her to leave him. I have no tolerance for physical abuse. It’s a bit easier as an adult too; I am in a position where I would be able to provide for my mother if need be.
It must be so hard to be a helpless child.
As a child, there is nothing you wouldn’t do. Including scream for the neighbours..
As an Adult, you begin to analyze the situation carefully before attacking the offending party…
It should never be condoned but Situations vary…
How are you??
can’t just imagine. i would be like the 7yr old boy
Wow, i really don’t know what i’d do men!
I probably will just encourage her to leave even if it’s for a while, if he’s able to come to his senses…
I feel for children in abusive relationships sa…
Dis one hard oh. cant even imagine it.
I’ll certainly take her out of the situation.
Na wa o, I would really try to sit down with him and try to make him see reason. If he persists, na to encourage my mother to leave the situation and do my best to help her leave. Very sad.
hmm , Doyin this is so tough , i think i would try to stop it in anyway , one needs the wisdom of God mostly at this time and prayer also works wonders
oh waow, that is a tough one. But one has to intervene- definitely.
my default response would be to fight for my mom but then I think it is not as easy as said – my age at the time will also play a role.
Each situation and each couple will probably require different approach.
Prayer, wisdom and reasonable action will be my answer to the question.
Of a truth, i won’t try to separate them. I was not there when they fell in love with themselves, when they got married et all.
Now, in this scenario, they don’t expect me to separate them. I’ll just stand and watch while praying in my heart that no one get hurt. And whatever the consequences of that action, they will both share in it.
I may sound not to cool but that’s the truth.
hmmmm. hmmmmm. Doyin, this question is bigger than me ooo. I will “comment my reserve”
Well unfurtunately this happened when we were growing up,my father is a very tough man and i think he has a different mentality about women and children, he believes the best way to stop anyone from doing what he doesnt like is by beating them.I could remember i was 21 years old then that night when he started we were crying as usuall and unfurnately the only naigbour he listens to wasnt home so were outside crying ,he then came to call me as the eldest after beating her saying she should pack and leave when my siblings heared his voice calling they ran away but i was so angry that i spoke saying where are u runing to when will this rubbish stop.
i went in with him and my mother said”ur father said i should leave” i think he was expecting me join my mum plead but then i told her pls pack God will take care of us,my mum told me when i left that he postrated and started begging,i think he saw he had done too much and for me who fears him to talk that way,well he appologise the next morning to us and he never did it again, thank God
this is so horrible to even think of. No child should have to see their parent assaulted/battered. But, usually, many kids coming from a family where abuse is regular, are incapable of doing much to protect themselves or others around them from being the target of aggression.
As a more ‘measured’ adult, my advice to anyone that is in an abusive relationship (physical, verbal or otherwise) is to seek counseling via church or a professional and make sure that the people they love and trust know of the situation. Failing that, getting out of the relationship and/or putting some distance between themselves and the abuser is necessary.
@ fluffy; I understand ur point…
@ leggy; hit him? I’m sure u know he’s much stronger than u r…lol.
@ Simeone; ur neighbours kids wr funny…prayer is indeed the master key…
@ Sarah; oh, I’m glad ur parents r happy now n there were no consequences to contend with…thanks to God.
@ Rita; really?
@ Bagucci; I know, right?
@ Rethots; I’ll answer ur question after u’ve answered mine…lol.
@ GNG; u really think leaving him would be the best bet? hmmm…
@ Rose; I’m doing great, thanks n u? I agree that such acts should never be condoned, but what’s to be done?
@ hyaw; u would? lol
@ writefreak; I do too…
@ Anonymous; I agree…
@ Myne & Original Mgbeke; what if she refuses to leave?
@ Funmi; Indeed…prayers n God’s wisdom r needed in such cases…
@ Tigeres; I agree…
@ DES; well said…
@ Jesusfreak; hmmm…an aloof stance?
@ naijagirl; commenting ur reserve as usual?
@ Kemi; waoh! this is indeed a miracle…I’m sorry u went true that as a child…but I’m sure glad u were able to stand up for ur mum, and more importantly, that God stepped into the situation and made everything perfect in His time…
@ SSD; very well said…I totally agree with you.