Hi all…how are you all doing? Hope you’ve been having a lovely week…
Many thanks to all those who have visited hubby’s blog…for your love and support in different forms…we both are veeeery grateful…
Ok! I have another question/issue for you to help me with…
I once broke off a relationship (actually, we both agreed it was the best thing to do) because we were both of the genotype “AS”…and you know what the medical concern is for a couple both being AS; that there’s a 25% chance of every child being born “SS”…However, I also know of a couple who defied all warnings and got married…haven’t heard from them since, so I don’t know if they have any children yet…
What do you think about AS couples getting married? Would you marry an AS person if you were/are also AS? Why? Why not?
What is the christian perspective of this issue? To marry, or not to marry? I believe some churches encourage couples-to-be to check that their genotypes are compatible…but is there a christian point-of-view on this?
I await your responses, my lovely people…
Hhhhmm anoda intriguing debate. Love the Bible says conquers all fear. But it also says we shd be as wise as the serpent. My Dear Sis I will only speak from what I have cn. I believe God can do all things but we shd also take his advice to be wise. I had a very good friend in secondary skool her parents were both AS and they had five kids, while we were in JS3, the mum gv birth to the sixth but the baby died few hours or may be a day after delivery she was SS. My friend a very beautiful, tall, elegant and very intelligent girl died few weeks to our SSCE result being released, her elder brother died two years after. The famliy was torn apart. U can imagine d parents having to deal with this children through their crises period and here now they are adults they started giving up one after the other. The theory of no crisis after the age of 18 did not hold water.The last boy who is also SS keeps saying and asking everybody he meets so am going to die soon. He lives with that reality starring him in the face. I couldnt bear the pain not to talk of the direct family that was affected after six children they hv only twofree frm SS. I hv nt heard frm them in a long while so I dont know how the last boy is fairing . it is nt an experience wot going through.
Sis I think u guys opted for the best. We can be so blinded with love that we tend to forget reality. I also had a neighbour with the same issue he had four girls and two boys. He lost one of the boys to SS and watch he second daughter suffer in pains, her growth is so slow but this child is absolutely a lovely and very intelligent child whenever she is in her crises u hear the father cry and blame himself I wish i neva did this but it was all for love.
He cant dissociate himself from the guilt of the pain this child is going thru. How long can one live with such a guilt.
Taking medical advice does not in any way mean dat u r faithless. u must prove ur faith by ur works. Doing the right thing and God will protect u.
Personally I wont marry or date someone who is AS, cos I am AC, and SS and SC are similar.
I feel whatever decisions we make (marriage included), should be informed.
Its not easy taking care of sickle cell kids, and I really wont want to bury any of my children.
i guess the end of the matter is that AS should never marry AS. No matter the love, love may blind their eyes but marriage will open it…No more story
@ Teegirl; awwwh, such a bitter experience that family had to go through…
@ O’dee; Really? I didn’t realise SS and SC were similar…yes, we should take informed decisions, especially in this age where all the information is available to us…thanks for coming by…
@ JF; lol…very conclusive…
to tell the truth i dont think its such a big deal if two ppl really want to b 2geda, but then who am i to talk, its neva been a real concern 4 me coz i’m aa
That was a very brave decision you made. I commend you. I personally would not date an AS if I was one because of the risk of havin a child with SS. But it is up to the couple to decide if they want to have children but I think it is hard as a Nigerian (or African for that matter) to say that you would not have any children. i have blogged about this issue before: http://omo-oba.blogspot.com/2009/03/re-last-post-nollywood-throwback.html. It is a hard call to make but I would rather ssacrifice love than having to make a decision as to terminating a fetus who has SS or even moreso, taking care of a child with SS.
That was a very brave decision you made. I commend you. I personally would not date an AS if I was one because of the risk of havin a child with SS. But it is up to the couple to decide if they want to have children but I think it is hard as a Nigerian (or African for that matter) to say that you would not have any children. i have blogged about this issue before: http://omo-oba.blogspot.coma/2009/03/re-last-post-nollywood-throwback.html. It is a hard call to make but I would rather ssacrifice love than having to make a decision as to terminating a fetus who has SS or even moreso, taking care of a child with SS.
It is sometimes difficult to make some decisons especially when you are in love but i’ll still say it depends on the pple involved and on what ground they are taking what ever decision they made. I have cases of those who did and never gave birth to SS and those who did and are living to regret it.I’m not rulling out medical reports but i have also heared several testimonies of SS turned AA and they’ve being living well there after.
I personaly do not feel its worth going through some pains either they trust God to help them or they want to stick to medical reports when the both of them can have a better life with some one else,yes i agree is hard but it is possible.i mean some of the time we spend on some prayer points might as well be use to lavish God with praise, if you know what i mean?
I can’t really say much any way because it has not being a concern,I’m AA.
@ Rayo; thanks for coming by…
@ Omo Oba; thanks…the link doesn’t work, but I did find the post on ur blog…the mortal inheritance case scenario…I’ve seen the movie; very educative I think…thx 4 contributing…cheers
@ Kemi; hmmm…thanks for this “dual” perspective…seems everyone is AA oh…lol…
…a difficult one it ought to be but, marriage i have observed (or concluded) is a conscious decision one makes (with all rationality) and not based simply on emotions. Hence, in one word (oops, a couple) not to marry.
I know a couple who also defied all warning and got married. Sadly their first child turned out to be SS. I feel so sorry for them and all I can offer them are my prayers. The annoying part of it all was that the wife had been tested earlier in Nigeria and her result said she was AA only for them to be retested a few days to their church wedding and it turned out that she is AS.
Personally, if I were faced with that situation I don’t think I would have gone ahead. I would have to weigh a life time of knowing I may be bringing a sick child into this world as against my heartbreak. I believe the broken heart would heal with time…..Thats my one kobo
It may be a good idea to know your genotype well before thinking of marriage and define your boundaries.
For those already married, God help you…
@ Rethots; you are right, u know?…
@ Tairebabs; too bad…can u imagine that? happened to my mum as well, but in the opposite way…always thot she was AS only to realize donkey years after marriage (after a new test) that she is AA…something needs to be done at our hospitals/clinics to prevent these kind of silly and costly mistakes…thanks for coming around…
@ fSheyeh; it definitely is…
I know a couple, both AS with three children and none is SS. I think it all boils down to the foundation of your marriage. I want to assume that the people conversing on this blog are christians. If so then, you might want to ask yourself how you decide who you are getting married to? Do you need to seek the face of God before choosing your spouse? If you did, then genotype would not be an issue for you. Needless to say that the blessings of God make one rich and add no sorrow.
I can’t say that I would break off a relationship with a man who is ALL that I am looking for, because he is AS. Shey in this day and age, we have genetic counselling. It is a tough one sha…
@ Olubaba; hi, and thanks for adding this christian perspective to the discussion…it’ll sure help…I am a Christian, but I don’t expect that ALL who visit my blog would be christians; some are, and some are not…that’s why a christian view would help us all to learn more about the topic at hand, and hopefully shed some more light on some difficult issues such as this…thanks for coming around…
@ Original M; hmmm…interesting angle…
@Olubaba
Let’s not be religious about this issue. The example you gave is one out of many. It’s good to avert danger before it comes. If you truly love the children that will come as a fruit of the marriage, then you will pray, plan and prepare well. Good gave us brain to discover these truths so we can give him rest.
I’m not saying God cannot do anything about the situation o.
@ Jesus Freak; thanks…well said…
[…] | No Comments Thanks to all those who contributed to the last “I ask U” topic on AS vs AS marriage. The general consensus seemed to be against an AS couple getting married, to forestall a […]