A couple of days ago, I was going through my marriage counselling notes…meen, I had definitely forgotten some of the things I wrote in there. Thank God for grace. I decided to share some of these notes to remind us married couples, as well as help those who, though not married, are on their way there…
The very first topic the MOG discussed with us was Conflict Resolution.
Causes of conflict;
He said (and I do agree) that there is bound to be conflict in the home due to; misunderstanding, spending habits, lack of proper communication, un-met expectations, family background/up-bringing, in-laws, stubbornness, a domineering spirit, and the media. He pointed out though, that most times, the causes of conflict are within (i.e. inside the home, between the couple), not without.
Consequences of conflict;
Conflict leads to anger, bitterness, malice…and can degenerate further, eventually leading to separation or divorce (God forbids).Unresolved offense builds a fence in the home.
How to overcome conflict; (Matt 18: 15-17)
- listen to your partner, don’t shut them out or talk them down.
- the offended party should initiate the move for peace.
- couples should try as much as possible to resolve the conflict between themselves, without involving 3rd parties.
- don’t bottle-up your grievances, expose them. (hmm…that one’s for me)
- resolve conflict/crises as they arise…otherwise, it could result into unbearable pressure, which is very dangerous.
- telling your partner (that you are hurt) is not the issue…how you tell it, is….Prov 31: 26…act with wisdom.
- don’t correct your spouse in front of others.
- your spouse should be your best friend (mine is) and should know more about you than anyone else (uhmmm).
Good books to read; (I have read some)
- Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus – John Gray
- Opposites attract – Tim Laye
- Light His/Her Fire – Ellen Kreidman
- Financial Guide for young couples – Larry Bucket
I also did a blog search and I found this blog dedicated to a young lady’s journey down the aisle, and a little thereafter…it may be useful to check it out, especially for my unmarried/soon to be married peeps….
While we are on this issue of marriage, hubby and I saw a movie together…it’s called Love, Sex, and Marriage…while its funny, and even hilarious in some parts, it’s truly enlightening, and educates us on some of the issues pertaining to love, sex, faithfulness, and trust in marriage…I particularly like it because it comes from a christian perspective…one of my favorite funny yet thought-provoking scenes, is below(the bedroom scene with Fred Amata and Kate Henshaw)…you should see the whole movie though…