Posts Tagged ‘relationships’


…whether you are already married or still at the “engaged” stage, or even in the “just-friends” stage of your relationship, it is very important to always create time for each other, time to be together…never be too busy for that special someone.

For the purpose of this post, let’s define a couple as “any two people of opposite sexes (i.e. man and woman) in a special relationship”, not only married couples.

A couple’s best asset is each other, and couple-time should therefore be included in the routine/schedule of both parties…time to play, to work, to relax, to discuss issues, to get to know each other better, etc…It is very important for a couple to consciously create time to spend together…plan your time appropriately, ensuring a realistic schedule.

Never take your career/job more seriously than your partner…always consider your partner “a prize” to be valued more highly than any other person or thing.

As a lady, if you already have kids (I prefer to call them children, kid reminds me of the young of some stubborn animal) don’t leave your husband to cleave to your children…next to your maker, more attention should be given to your husband, afterall he was, before the children came to be…also, the primary aim of marriage is companionship, the children are secondary.

For the men; women need special care and attention, and should not be treated as you would treat a fellow man…your woman is special and should be cared for as such…

Both of you should take note of important dates, i.e. birthdays, wedding/meeting anniversaries, and other key dates in each other’s lives…in my case, I am very bad not very good at remembering dates (that is, apart from hubby’s birthday and our wedding anniversary) but hubby on the other hand remembers every little date, including birthdays of distant relatives…so we complement each other…you can find other areas where one is strong and the other weak not so strong, to complement one another.

You should also consider one another’s preferences and tastes when planning activities or outings, so that no one is left feeling out of place…for example, while I am a very indoorsy type of person, hubby is very outdoorsy, so we have to make allowances for each other…I get him to enjoy being home by cooking him a nice meal/ordering a take-out, playing indoor games, eg. cards/ludo/draught, watching a movie while cuddled up together in bed or on the sofa, etc…but we still find time to go out often to the cinema, a nice chinese restaurant, or other places of interest…

If you have been good at creating time for your loved one, all well and good…please keep it up and continue to find more creative ways to spend quality time together…if on the other hand, you haven’t been doing so well at this, then now is the time…it’s never too late to create time for that special someone…and have fun doing it…enjoy!

Related Topic;

Resolving Conflict as a Couple


Read Full Post »

A couple of days ago, I was going through my marriage counselling notes…meen, I had definitely forgotten some of the things I wrote in there. Thank God for grace. I decided to share some of these notes to remind us married couples, as well as help those who, though not married, are on their way there…

The very first topic the MOG discussed with us was Conflict Resolution.

young-couple-in-fight-on-bedCauses of conflict;

He said (and I do agree) that there is bound to be conflict in the home due to; misunderstanding, spending habits, lack of proper communication, un-met expectations, family background/up-bringing, in-laws, stubbornness, a domineering spirit, and the media. He pointed out though, that most times, the causes of conflict are within (i.e. inside the home, between the couple), not without.

Consequences of conflict;

Conflict leads to anger, bitterness, malice…and can degenerate further, eventually leading to separation or divorce (God forbids).Unresolved offense builds a fence in the home.

How to overcome conflict; (Matt 18: 15-17)

  • listen to your partner, don’t shut them out or talk them down.
  • the offended party should initiate the move for peace.
  • couples should try as much as possible to resolve the conflict between themselves, without involving 3rd parties.
  • don’t bottle-up your grievances, expose them. (hmm…that one’s for me)
  • resolve conflict/crises as they arise…otherwise, it could result into unbearable pressure, which is very dangerous.
  • telling your partner (that you are hurt) is not the issue…how you tell it, is….Prov 31: 26…act with wisdom.
  • don’t correct your spouse in front of others.
  • your spouse should be your best friend (mine is) and should know more about you than anyone else (uhmmm).

Good books to read; (I have read some)

  • Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus – John Gray
  • Opposites attract – Tim Laye
  • Light His/Her Fire – Ellen Kreidman
  • Financial Guide for young couples – Larry Bucket

I also did a blog search and I found this blog dedicated to a young lady’s journey down the aisle, and a little thereafter…it may be useful to check it out, especially for my unmarried/soon to be married peeps….

While we are on this issue of marriage, hubby and I saw a movie together…it’s  called Love, Sex, and Marriage…while its funny, and even hilarious in some parts, it’s truly enlightening, and educates us on some of the issues pertaining to love, sex, faithfulness, and trust in marriage…I particularly like it because it comes from a christian perspective…one of my favorite funny yet thought-provoking scenes, is below(the bedroom scene with Fred Amata and Kate Henshaw)…you should see the whole movie though…

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: