Posts Tagged ‘Flash Back’

It happened a long time ago…I was no more than 12, and still in Junior Secondary School. My dad and his driver had come to pick me up from school in the Eastern part of Nigeria, and we were headed back to the West.

We left quite late, and after a while it became pitch black, the only supply of light coming from the car’s head lamps. All of a sudden


A gun shot.

The car swerved, and the driver almost lost control.

In raw paternal instinct, my dad pulled me to himself, put my head on his laps, and covered me with his flowing gown (oh, a father’s love!).

The driver kept moving, but my dad ordered him to stop.

“Ha Oga”! the driver exclaimed…”they could be armed robbers”…

No, my dad said…it’s the police…stop!

So the driver stopped. My dad got down and went to speak with the police officers.

Of course it wasn’t the driver’s fault…he hadn’t seen them…

Can you imagine dark skinned police men in black uniforms, in pitch darkness…no lamps or other source of light…how could anyone see that there was a check point there?

My dad introduced himself as an SPO, and asked to speak with the most senior officer present…

The officer who fired the shot started to complain about the bullet he had wasted and how he was going to explain that to his superior officers…

Luckily my dad knew the state’s commissioner of police, and mentioned his name…he told the officers his name and told them to mention it to the state CP and all would be alright (Trust Naija…man know man!).

At the mention of their boss’ name, and the familiarity with which my dad called it, the officers calmed down and even became friendly and respectful…

After apologising for scaring them (they all dived into the bush when the car sped past) and not stopping at the check point (despite it not being our fault at all) we continued on our way…

If not for God, that gun shot could have hit one of us, and who knows, I may not be here today…For that, I give all thanks and praise to my Father in Heaven…

Have you ever been shot at? What was the experience like?

Other Flash Back Posts;

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I had another funny flash back yesterday.

This episode is about James, one of our numerous previous house helps, and is inspired by JideSalu‘s talk about his house help and driver (Mercy and Clement)…

James claimed he was 17, but he looked 30 to me, with his “akpu” endowed physique and the harsh strong features of his face. He was either very funny or plain stupid.

Once, my dad had asked the entire family to fast for the day. My dad’s younger brother (let’s call him YB), guessing that James probably wouldn’t know what that meant, decided to help him out. Their conversation went like this;

YB: James, Oga  say make we fast today. You know wetin that one mean? (Master says we should fast today. Do you know what that means?)

James: Yes, I know.

YB: Wetin e mean? (What does it mean?)

James: E mean say make we dey do everything fast, fast (It means we should do all our tasks as fast as possible).

Now, I guess you have an understanding of the type of person James was.

On another occasion, my mum wanted James to move a bag of beans. To make it easier, she wanted to suggest that he place the bag in an upright position first, but knowing that James wouldn’t know what “upright” means, she told him to “stand the bag”…believe it or not, James actually STOOD ON TOP OF the bag of beans.

Because James had a funny odour about him, my mum frequently asked him “You don baff?” (have you had a bath?). James then developed an annoying, yet funny habit of pouring his palm-kernel smelling body cream all over himself, as proof that he had taken his bath…he appeared from his boy quaters apartment looking so shiny (and I imagine, slippery too), like someone who had been bathed in palm oil.

Having had an experience with people like James, I can only say to JideSalu; I understand your plight…lol.

Have a fun-filled bank holiday weekend.

Read my first flash back; the gutter episode

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flashbackI just had a very funny flash back…it was quite a long time ago…I must have been five or six…old enough to be wise, really.

An aunt had taken me out to see her boyfriend (now her husband and father of her 5 children)…of course, that was without my parent’s knowledge…if my mum had known, hmmm!

Anyway, we were on our way out of his photo studio when I decided to walk inside the gutter (silly, I know)…it was a dry, shallow gutter, so I was sure it was safe…at least so I thought.

It must have been the bottle of fanta I took (nothing else explains it) for I suddenly found myself in a pool of greenish mess…oh, the bacteria, fungae, amoeba, yuck!

My cry must have distracted my aunt from her lovey dovey and she screamed on seeing me in my green suit…lol…you need to have been there to see the way she yanked me out of the gutter…her yellow skin turning red with embarrassment as a small crowd gathered.

The life saver was a small public tap located very close by, where my aunt washed me up, and rushed me home…the only reason she didn’t beat me up, I’m sure, was because I would have told my parents and the whole story would have unfolded, blowing her cover…ha, ha, ha.

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