Early last month, I had a conversation with a family member, and let’s just say I came out of that conversation feeling like a failure.
They practically used an area of my life that is currently a “challenge” to insult me, and oh, it hurt – really, truly, deeply, hurt. I cried, and cried, and then cried some more.
I was broken to many pieces and was at an all-time low for a while – I even contemplated doing something that I’m ashamed to say I even thought about – I lost interest in many things, blogging included.
In all of these though, I had to fake being okay for my hubby and others’ sake (I gave hubby an abridged version of what happened).
I took the matter to the Lord and rather than ask “Why me?” or such other questions, I tearfully begged Him to remember me, and look upon my case and turn it around to favour me.
I haven’t got the answer yet, but I see good signs, and “I hear the sound of abundance of rain”. I trust that in His own perfect and right time, the Lord will answer me and put a new song in my mouth.
Why am I writing this? You may wonder…Well, it’s not so I can attract a pity-party and accumulate “sorries” and “it will be wells” (even though I’ll appreciate them).
…It’s simply so (hopefully) I can finally let the pain and hurt out of my physical body, and get back to doing the things that I truly enjoy (e.g. blogging and reading other blogs– lol). For this reason, I’m turning off comments on this post.
I came across this prayer in a book I read a few months ago – The Millionaire Joshua by Catherine Ponder – and if you are hurting or have been hurt by anyone recently, then please say the prayer with me:
“I now fully and freely forgive and release everything and everyone, who needs it, of the past or present – I forgive and release everyone – I am free and they are free too – All things are cleared up between us now and forever”
PS: After typing this post in the morning, I went off to read my Bible and pray. Guess what I came across?
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”